Houston Forward Times

18 June 2014 Written by  Pastor E A Deckard

LORD HELP ME WITH MY DADDY ISSUES

"And what I’ve realized is that life doesn’t count for much unless you’re willing to do your small part to leave our children — all of our children — a better world. Even if it’s difficult. Even if the work seems great. Even if we don’t get very far in our lifetime."

- President Barack Obama

Malachi 4:6 (NKJV) "And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children,
And the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse."

Forward Thinkers, the bible states; a land where fathers are disconnected from their children is a land that is under a curse. The Old Testament ends with a very powerful, prophetic word; when Fathers are reunited with their children the curse on the land (America) will be reversed.

Forward Thinkers, the church does not know when to SHOUT ANYMORE. That is, shouting good news, the curse on the land can be reversed once the Father is restored to his rightful place.

Forward Thinkers, today I have to write with such a great understanding that you will be able to receive healing from your daddy issues. Forward Thinkers, no excuses will be made and no excuses will be accepted, but remember things are not always what they appear to be.

Forward Thinkers, today we will look at the Dead-Beat Dad Issue; the effects of not having daddy around; the mother’s role; We will conclude with the healing power of God, the Ultimate Father. I pray as you read this article today, the burdens created from you having to live with "daddy issues’ will be released and you will finally be set free.

We Are All Aware of the Term Dead Beat Dad: Question, is he a deadbeat dad or a defeated dad?

Forward Thinkers, the enemy attacks the office and position of Fatherhood because the devil realizes when the Father is disconnected from his children the curse has a place to live. Out of curiosity I googled ‘Teach me how to dougie’ and 1000’s of hits came up. I then googled ‘Teach me how to daddy’ and nothing came up and the search engine even rerouted me to ‘Teach me how to cat daddy’. There is an alarming attack on Fatherhood and the enemy has made sure there is a void on training and preparation for Fathers. Forward Thinkers the bible says ‘people perish from lack of knowledge’ and without making excuses there is defiantly a lack of accessible resources for training and educating Fathers.

Forward Thinkers, 15 million children (1 out of 3) in America live in a home without their Father. As we know whenever there are issues in America the population hit the hardest is always the African American community. In Black America the numbers are even more alarming because the numbers show 70% of children in the Black community live in a home without their Father. Forward Thinkers, the greeting card company Hallmark now has a Happy Fathers Day Mom card, but for some reason it is only sold in the Black Heritage section of greeting cards. We must wake up and realize the office of Fatherhood, especially the Black Father, is under great attack before it’s too late.

Forward Thinkers, there is clearly a problem; a war is being fought against Fathers and we are spending so much time trying to complain the ‘hell’ out deadbeat dads that we are missing the big picture. I believe I’ve discovered another way to approach this issue. Forward Thinkers let’s try encouraging the life back into them. I have a question, "has booing the home team while they are struggling ever changed the scoreboard?" But, I bet a cheering crowd has inspired several struggling teams to a major comeback.

Forward Thinkers, I understand my assignment to encourage Fathers is hard but I remember in the bible where the prophet was asked ‘can these dry bones live again?’ The prophet did not look at the negative situation and give because the odds were against him but he began to speak words of hope, strength, and power into the dead bones until life came back into them and they rose up and formed a great army. Yes, I believe we can encourage Black Fathers from dead-beat status into mighty great army status.

Forward Thinkers, growing up I used to love to assemble jig-saw puzzles. I discovered as long as I stayed focused on the picture on the box cover, I would eventually get all the pieces in the right place. Forward Thinkers, the father is the picture on the box cover; as long as the children can see him in position, they have hope that they can put all the pieces of life together. When the father is missing in action, like the jig-saw puzzle without the box cover, the pieces are left to figure out where they belong.

The Effects of Not Having Daddy Around

Forward Thinkers, let me address this upfront; the will of God is for a man to become a husband first, then a Father. The sad reality is a lot of men have mismanaged their seed and entered into fatherhood way before they have mastered Manhood---don’t kill the messenger, I feel your pain I’m in the club. Forward Thinkers, our children suffer when we don’t do things God’s way. Let’s look at Ephesians 6:4 "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

Forward Thinkers, issues arise when the Father does not fulfill his role. That’s why today there are millions of Americans walking around with Daddy Issues.

Responsibility- Forward Thinkers, the bible tells Fathers don’t provoke your children to wrath. The alarming number of absentee fathers in america has produced a generation of angry, bitter, and discouraged children. This generation of children, with the aggressive anti-authority spirit, has been birthed from this fatherless era.

Coach/Trainer- Forward Thinkers, how can our children win the game of life without their coach? I’ll never forget the day I fell in love with clothes, I saw my Daddy dressed to impress and I said I wanted to be like him and watching my grandfather study his bible daily motivated me to become a student of God’s Word. Men our children need us to get out the bleachers and get on the sidelines coaching and training them to reach their full potential.

4 E’s of Child Support- Forward Thinkers, child support is not a negative situation but a needed situation to ensure the child has the resources needed to succeed in life. Child support should be viewed from 4 levels of support needed to give a child the tools needed to prosper. Economics, Education, Emotions, and Encouragement are all areas every Father must support their child in.

The Mother’s Role

Forward Thinkers, first we must encourage our sisters to stop having babies with men they already know are not prepared or qualified for the office of Fatherhood. Sisters having a baby will not make a Brother stay with you and its time out for you falling for that trick of the enemy.

Forward Thinkers I have another question, "How many women would depend on scratch offs or winning the lottery to cover their mortgage, car note, and bills?" I know you’re saying that would be foolish and no woman would do that. Well the odds of the men you’re dealing with being able to cover your child is close to the odds of you winning the lottery. Sister you must become wiser for the sake of your children.

Forward Thinkers, when is the last time you saw a male dog stick around to take care of the litter? Therefore, sisters you can’t keep dealing with men you have already labeled as displaying dog like character and expect anything other than dog like results.

1 Samuel 1:22-23 But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, "Not until the child is weaned; then I will take him, that he may appear before the Lord and remain there forever."So Elkanah her husband said to her, "Do what seems best to you; wait until you have weaned him. Only let the Lord establish His word." Then the woman stayed and nursed her son until she had weaned him.

Forward Thinkers, Samuel’s mother entered into agreement with his Father and Samuel became great. That formula still works. A child needs 4 eyes (Father and Mother) because the parents are supposed to have vision and guide the child into their God-given greatness. Without the Father the child loses 50% of the vision needed to reach the ultimate level of success. Forward Thinking mothers, stop speaking negative about your children’s Father and then expect your child to become great. Remember a seed can only produce its own kind.

IV. God the Ultimate Father:

Forward Thinkers, God said "I’ll never leave you nor will I forsake you". Forward Thinkers, yes it’s true, if you don’t have a Father you’re missing something. But thank God, because He provides and fills every missing piece in our lives. Forward Thinkers, when Abraham decided he no longer wanted to support his son Ishmael, God stepped in and said Ishmael would grow up into a great nation. Forward Thinkers, God has adopted us into His family, calls us His children and provides us with everything we need to succeed in life. Forward Thinkers, as a matter of fact, He promised us an abundant life; no matter the condition of our relationship with our natural Fathers, God has a master plan for your lives. Forward Thinkers, in conclusion, when asked how did I come up with 10 Commandants of Fatherhood (you can find in previous edition of Houston Forward Times) I said I looked at God as the ultimate Father and followed the principles of God the Father.